I Lived Fully

Living Life to the Full


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The Paper Bag Theory

A couple of weeks ago I was having a conversation with a friend of mine about meeting/finding/attracting the “right” guy. During the course of the conversation she said that she was going to go stick her head in a paper bag and see what would happen. Now my friend did not literally stick her head in a paper bag. What she meant by her statement is that she wasn’t going to worry about trying to find the “right” guy.
Instead she was just going to be herself and not try to be someone, that she is not just to attract a guy. My friend ended up calling her idea “The paper bag theory.” In short the paper bag theory is this. You will be yourself and not worry about attracting a member of the opposite sex.

Two types of small paper bags

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Now, you might be thinking to yourself that would never work. Well here’s some food for thought. Do you want someone to be attracted to the front that you put up to try to attract someone? Or do you want them to be attracted to the really you? Any kind of relationship won’t last if it’s built on false hood. It will eventually wither and die.

In a previous post I wrote about the masks we wear. In it I talked about reasons for why we wear masks and I posed the question “what would happen if we stopped wearing masks and showed each other our true self’s?” Since I wrote that post I have been trying to live without any masks. Some times I succeed and other times I fail miserably. In doing so I have found a sense of freedom and liberty that I never had before. I am not trying to please any one and I don’t have to hide behind masks and false fronts. Because I’m being myself and not who other people think I am. I’m more confidant in myself and my abilities both as a person and as a leader in my church young adult group.

If you’re stressing out and worrying about finding that “right” guy or girl. Why don’t you give the paper bag theory a shot. Who knows you might be surprised by the results. So, what happened with my friend, and did her paper bag theory work? Well, I think I’ll save the answer to that question for a future date.

-Roland K


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The Battle of The Heart

The heart is a mysterious thing. Figuring out the things we want in life can be hard. Whether it’s where we want to go to school, what kind of career we want to pursue, or what kind of person we want to marry. For some people these kind of questions are easy to answer. For most people however, answering the “BIG” life questions of school, career, and marriage isn’t as easy as one two three.
As I am finishing up my college degree and entering the next stage of my life. I am asking myself questions like “what kind of career do I want to pursue?” or “What am I looking for in a wife?” And to be honest I haven’t figured out the answers to those questions. However, two years ago I thought I had it all figured out.

It was my senior year of high school and I was at the top of my game, metaphorically speaking. I was extremely active in my churches youth group. I knew what I wanted to do after high school in terms of college. I was also planning on asking the girl of my dreams out at the end of the year. However, little did I know that I was in for a major crash and burn experience.

Broken heart symbol

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The first blow came when I asked the girl I liked out. Turned out that it was to little to late. She had meet a another guy and they had just started dating. The second blow came a couple of weeks later, when I found out that the cost of tuition at the media school I was planning on attending had basically doubled due to the school having built a brand new facility. The third and final blow came several months later when I had a major disagreement with my churches youth pastor. As each event happened I fell deeper and deeper into a depressed funk. I couldn’t figure out what happened! I had everything planned out and yet in a few short months everything I had planned fell apart. It wasn’t until last fall that the funk finally started to lift.

As I look back at the fourteen or so months after high school and the events that took place during that time. I have realized that each event taught me something different about myself and how I relate to others. Getting rejected by the girl of my “dreams” showed me that I wasn’t as ready for a committed long term relationship as I thought. The cost of tuition in the school I was planning on attending getting doubled showed me that I wasn’t as flexible with unexpected circumstances as I thought, and made me rethink my priorities on my education. The disagreement with my youth pastor showed me that I had a lot of unforgiveness and pride in my life.

During my Senior year of high school I knew what I wanted in life. However, hindsight being what it is I have come to realize that I really didn’t know what I wanted out of life back then, and the truth is I still don’t know entirely what I want out of life. Which is odd considering that I am writing a blog about living life to the fullest.

I bring up my sorry sob story to make a point. It’s a given that throughout life we are going to experience heartbreak, and we have no control over it. What we do have control over is how we respond to the heartbreak that we experience. I responded poorly to the heart break I experienced at the end of my senior year of high school. So I want to leave you with this question to ponder. How will you respond to heart break when it comes your way?

“The battle with the heart isn’t easily won. But it can be won.” -Ingrid Michaelson

-Roland K